Self-esteem is easily defined as the way you feel about yourself. It has a massive effect on how you make decisions and socialize. You tend to decide based on what you think is you can only do. Meaning, having a low-self-esteem will cause you to create poor decisions in many things.
People with low self-esteem tend to think that they are inferior to other people and think lowly about themselves. It also affects the way we look. Lower self-esteem causes you to restrict the way you dress because you feel it won’t fit you or look bad at it. Or hesitate to do something because you think you will fail.
So it is crucial to understand what causes low self-esteem and how you can overcome it.
Causes of Low Self-esteem
Giving other people too much authority
Sometimes, people unconsciously give others authority into their life. By giving other people the control to tell you what and what not to do, you give that person so much trust.
This trust is crucial for the success of your relationship with other people. But you need to understand that it has severe consequences, especially when that person has negative behavior such as being cruel, harsh, or overly critical.
Their opinion will become so valuable to you. That you think everything they say about you is accurate.
How to overcome:
Remember that you cannot change a person quickly. So don’t waste your time trying to change that person on how to treat you or respect you. Always remember that only you have control of your reaction.
Do your best to leave if the situation is so bad. But if you want to stay with that person, you must change how you react or accept their words and behavior towards you.
Think of a positive comment every time they make negative comments about you. Stop accepting every negative thing they are throwing at you. Tell yourself that you do your best every time they say that you mess things up.
Being guilty about your past decisions
Everyone commits mistakes. But if you think deeper, every error you made in the past has caused something positive. Making mistakes will open a lot of doors for improvement and change.
Do not just focus on the adverse effects of your choices and consistently feel guilty about them. Doing such will only give you low self-esteem.
How to overcome:
The first step in overcoming your guilt is to focus on the positive effects of your mistakes. If you’re feeling particularly guilty about a particular decision you made, try to reflect on that choice and dig deeper to see if you can find other things that it did to make your life better.
Have time to write about your experience in a journal. It’s critical to keep track of your findings and write them down. Get thoughts out of your head and write them into a paper. Doing so can help you to dig deeper into them.
Write down a decision you made that keeps making you feel guilty. And write beside it every possible positive result that happened to you. This will help you value those decisions more than being upset about them.
Setting unrealistic goals
It is good to think big and dream about big things. It’s not wrong to try to reach for the stars; what’s worse is if it is your only goal. You are on the way to failure. And failure causes a substantial adverse effect on your self-esteem. Most of the time, we set unrealistic goals. And not being able to achieve them makes us think that we are not enough.
How to overcome:
Setting a goal is vital for ensuring that we get better every time. So it is a good idea to set a huge goal, but remember to set up small milestones that you can achieve along the way. For example, make it your main goal to save money for retirement but don’t forget your small goals like improving your appearance- go to the spa, find an affordable dentist, shop new clothes, and so on.
Setting these milestones will help you be strong along the journey of reaching your end goal. Even though you don’t reach your massive goal, you will still feel satisfied with the milestones you have achieved along the way. Instead of jumping right into your goal without milestones, failing to reach that goal will only disappoint you.
Comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to other people is so easy that it becomes a habit. We think that the picture we see on social media is their whole story, not realizing that it is just their best look. Comparing your opposing sides to the positive sides that they only show will make you feel awful about yourself.
How to overcome:
Keep in mind that what you see is not always what it seems. People are only showing their good sides on their social media posts. Moreover, remember that they worked hard to achieve what you see from them. The best way to handle it is to be genuinely happy for other people’s accomplishments. And make it your inspiration to strive harder and be better yourself.
Hopefully, these tips help you address your self-esteem and overcome it once and for all. You will not be able to live a joyful life if you let your low self-esteem take over. Fight back and create a better version of yourself for a better quality of life.